Is it Cool to Have a Ghostwriter Write to Men for You on Dating Apps?


Is it Cool to Have a Ghostwriter Write to Men for You on Dating Apps?

I started e-Cyrano online dating profile writing in 2003.

We were written about in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal and hundreds of other publications. 

The story was juicy. Online dating was going mainstream for the first time, and specialists were popping up to serve a growing population.

The story was juicy. Online dating was going mainstream for the first time, and specialists were popping up to serve a growing population.

I came up with the idea when I took my George W. Bush $300 tax credit and used it to have a professional resume writer take a crack at my resume (even though I was a writer). Next thing I knew, I was working for JDate in 2002 and saw the same lame profiles you see today. A business was born.

Online dating profiles led to online dating coaching, which led to dating coaching, which led to relationship coaching, and well, here we are.

Then I readthis New York Times feature on a woman who handles your dating apps and I felt a negative energy. It’s not that I was envious (which is true) or that I should spend more time promoting e-Cyrano (which is also true), it’s that this business model feels out of integrity to me.

e-Cyrano involves a questionnaire that takes hours and a phone interview where we compile all of your words into a profile that’s 95% you and 5% e-Cyrano.

These companies involve a literal Cyrano – someone pretending to be you, writing your emails and texts, actually interacting with another person under false pretenses.

Put another way: how would you feel if you discovered a man hired someone to flirt with you under his name? Pretty creepy, no?

I’ve long had the opportunity – and many requests – to do this for clients. I have refused every time. While it may seem like a negligible difference, in my opinion, there is a clear dividing line between offering advice on how to write to men and actually writing to men themselves.

I’m sure the woman who owns this business is a nice person, doing good work and helping others. It just doesn’t feel right to me from a moral standpoint.

Your thoughts, below, are greatly appreciated.

 

Happy ClientsHappy Clients

  • Ana C.

    “You opened my eyes to the fact that my boyfriend left because he didn’t love me unconditionally.”

    I am in such a better place today because of your insights and inspirational guidance. I was so stuck on getting him back, but now I realize that I don’t want him back! I deserve someone who will love me unconditionally, no matter what.

    Ana C.
  • Jana B.

    “I’m so glad I didn’t give up, no one should ever give up. You have to kiss A LOT of toads to find your prince.”

    I knew I needed to in order to attract the love of my life. I had romantic dreams and the reality of the dating scene was a wake-up call… A man with answers about men! That is the “golden ticket”!  

    Jana B.
  • Heather J.

    “Seriously…everything you described would happen, happened!”

    He emailed me, he called me, he asked for a date, he called back, he contacts me everyday, he took down his profile first, he stopped dating the other women he was dating and asked me to “date exclusively” because he wants to focus on getting to know me better. All I did was say yes.

    Heather J.

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<div class=’gf_browser_chrome gform_wrapper’ id=’gform_wrapper_27′ ><div id=’gf_27′ class=’gform_anchor’ tabindex=’-1′></div><form method=’post’ enctype=’multipart/form-data’ target=’gform_ajax_frame_27′ id=’gform_27′ action=’/blog/online-dating-tips-advice/is-it-cool-to-have-a-ghostwriter-write-to-men-for-you-on-dating-apps#gf_27′> <div class=’gform_body’><ul id=’gform_fields_27′ class=’gform_fields top_label form_sublabel_below description_below’><li id=’field_27_1′ class=’gfield gfield_html gfield_html_formatted gfield_no_follows_desc field_sublabel_below field_description_below gfield_visibility_visible’ ><img class=”em-head” src=”//www.evanmarckatz.com/images/em-head.jpg” width=”120″ height=”120″> <p align=”center”>Evan Marc Katz</p></li><li id=’field_27_2′ class=’gfield gfield_html gfield_html_formatted gfield_no_follows_desc field_sublabel_below field_description_below gfield_visibility_visible’ ><center><br><br> <strong><span style=”font-size: 14px”>Are you sick of men not making an effort? <br><br> Are you tired of texting relationships? <br><br> Are you done with “Netflix and chill?”</span></strong><br><br> <span style=”font-size: 12px”>Sign up for this free email training and I’ll tell you the <strong>8 Massive Mistakes You’re Making in Relationships</strong> so you never end up feeling this way again. </span></center></li><li id=’field_27_3′ class=’gfield gfield_html gfield_html_formatted gfield_no_follows_desc field_sublabel_below field_description_below gfield_visibility_visible’ ><center><img style=”margin: 20px 0″ width=”131″ height=”190″ src=”//www.evanmarckatz.com/images/8-mistakes-cover.png”></center></li><li id=’field_27_10′ class=’gfield gfield_contains_required field_sublabel_hidden_label field_description_below hidden_label gfield_visibility_hidden’ ><label class=’gfield_label gfield_label_before_complex’ >Name<span class=’gfield_required’>*</span></label><div class=’ginput_complex ginput_container no_prefix has_first_name no_middle_name no_last_name no_suffix gf_name_has_1 ginput_container_name’ id=’input_27_10′> <span id=’input_27_10_3_container’ class=’name_first’ > <input type=’text’ name=’input_10.3′ id=’input_27_10_3′ value=” aria-label=’First name’ aria-required=”true” aria-invalid=”false” placeholder=’First Name’/> <label for=’input_27_10_3′ class=’hidden_sub_label screen-reader-text’>First</label> </span> </div></li><li id=’field_27_9′ class=’gfield gfield_contains_required field_sublabel_below field_description_below hidden_label gfield_visibility_visible’ ><label class=’gfield_label’ for=’input_27_9′ ><span class=’gfield_required’>*</span></label><div class=’ginput_container ginput_container_email’> <input name=’input_9′ id=’input_27_9′ type=’text’ value=” class=’medium’ placeholder=’Enter your best email address’ aria-required=”true” aria-invalid=”false” /> </div></li><li id=’field_27_5′ class=’gfield gform_hidden field_sublabel_below field_description_below gfield_visibility_visible’ ><input name=’input_5′ id=’input_27_5′ type=’hidden’ class=’gform_hidden’ aria-invalid=”false” value=’http://www.bing.com/’ /></li><li id=’field_27_6′ class=’gfield gform_hidden field_sublabel_below field_description_below gfield_visibility_visible’ ><input name=’input_6′ id=’input_27_6′ type=’hidden’ class=’gform_hidden’ aria-invalid=”false” value=’https://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/online-dating-tips-advice/is-it-cool-to-have-a-ghostwriter-write-to-men-for-you-on-dating-apps’ /></li><li id=’field_27_11′ class=’gfield gform_validation_container field_sublabel_below field_description_below gfield_visibility_visible’ ><label class=’gfield_label’ for=’input_27_11′ >Email</label><div class=’ginput_container’><input name=’input_11′ id=’input_27_11′ type=’text’ value=” /></div><div class=’gfield_description’ id=’gfield_description__11′>This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.</div></li> </ul></div> <div class=’gform_footer top_label’> <input type=”submit” id=”gform_submit_button_27″ class=”gform_button button om-trigger-conversion” value=”Sign Up Now” onclick=’if(window[“gf_submitting_27”])return false; 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